Legit spy selling sparklers, nothing to see here.

I am now a trained spy.

I know, you're thinking "wow that came on suddenly" but it's real. Totes legit. But I guess I shouldn't be airing it that I'm now a spy or that my new spy name is inigomontoya. See what I did there? I said it really fast so you wouldn't know. Just snuck it into normal conversation.

Hmmm... Let's just go with that I'm not actually a spy. (I totally threw you off my trail with that one!) Yeah, no spies here, just cows.  (WOW I am getting really good at this spy stuff.)

I had a coworker point out that if I am now a spy I should start dressing differently because I'm no longer Sarah. But that's exactly why I won't start dressing differently. Because you will expect it. Duh, I don't know why I have to spell this out.

You can call me Nigo for short, just don't call me Al. Or slur your words, that could end really badly for both of us. Although if you slur it into Neal that would be okay. (Woo Hoo! A new alias!!)

But again, not a spy. NOT A SPY. We sell sparklers. This is a sparkler stand. I'm the one on the left, still lookin' the same.

And I know at this point you all have the frozen perma smile pasted across your faces and some people would interpret it as the "oh my god I think she's lost it" smile but I know deep down it's the "oh my god she's such an amazing spy and she's been a spy one day?!?!?" mixed in with "if she's this awesome of a spy how many other spies are in my life?" smile.

Shock and awe people, shock and awe.

We start all the real spy stuff tomorrow, well the international stuff. See you can't even read that! I'm going to be the best spy ever! NO SPIES HERE. Just move along.

This message doesn't even have to self destruct that's how good I am.

(And now you all think I'm insane, but really, yes I know, really this is how my mind works totally sober.)