Supply and Demand

I just want to start out by saying yes, I love babies. But can people PLEASE stop asking me if I'm pregnant, going to be pregnant in the near future or when I am going to have kids. If you know me and know me well you know I adore children, and they like me pretty well too. Yes, I know I've been married for a few years and I'm able to have children but that doesn't mean that I want them yet. I will make this promise though, that by the time I'm 30 everyone can start asking if I'm pregnant but please give me until then. So like another year and a half, m'kay?

I kind of feel like it's been a long time coming and it feels like it's an underlying current in a lot of my conversations. I'm not saying that I mind talk about babies and I've had a lot of funny conversations about babies (and with). I just feel that people over the past year or so have been coming out of the woodwork asking me when, if, how soon, how many, etc. And I mean even people I don't know. I agree babies are exciting and oh so fun, but I need to be ready after all I (okay, well Isaac really since he's a light sleeper) will be the one getting up in the middle of the night with them. I will be dealing with them when they are crying, etc. I know that parenting is rewarding and challenging and I am excited to become a parent but I'm still mulling it over in my mind. It's a huge undertaking and I want to think through all that I would be getting myself into. Also I want to make sure that I can provide my children with everything they need (emotionally and financially), and that's the scariest part. I don't feel like I can yet and I know I may never get to a point where I feel that I can but I at least need to get comfortable with that. I think that's my biggest hold up.

I find it funny that I wasn't even this cautious about marriage. I think the difference for me though is that I will be shaping a child and in marriage you're marrying a person that is/should be pretty formed in their ideas and values. I know that whom ever you marry will change as they grow as a person but that's different. They have set and are setting the path for their life (you obviously have influence) but with a child you have absolute influence. Your spouse will make decisions on their own and children especially small children have to have decision made for them and I don't want to screw it up.

So that's my rant. I don't want anyone to think that I don't want to talk about babies or my future with babies. I just don't want to be put on the spot as to when I will be giving the world one and all the aspects that come with that. As for now the only babies I have say mreow and they don't even listen to me that well. :)