Comcast is not doing anything for me to like them more

Dear Comcast,

     When you told me over and over that my email address was linked to my account and made me feel like I was out of my head, you were wrong. Please don't tell me that I created a brand new email address where I misspelled my name. Also why don't I know my password? Or that this email address even exists? Also, thank you for making me contact the people who's account you left my current email address tied to (thankfully I know and get along really well with them) and have to explain the whole situation and make them go through the hassle too. But when they tell you that they just want to transfer the email addresses why do you offer to delete them instead? This makes me think you just like to mess with your customers. Like somehow it really makes you happy to screw your customers over. Also when you make me call you back up to verify that I want these email addresses on my account which I've already told you I do, don't tell me I can't because I'm not an authorized user on the other persons account. I don't want access to their account, I just want my email addresses which they've already released to me.

Sincerely,
Me

P.S. They had better show up on my account by Thursday at the latest.

P.P.S. I am going to feel a lot of resentment towards you again when I have to stand in line to correct my name because you misspelled it all over my account. And now I have to prove to you that you don't know how to spell my name and I do. Really? You think I would misspell my name and call it good? Seriously.

*Update*
They're there!! Yay! So excited it didn't take til Thursday.

I do classy things on a daily basis

Here are some examples of exactly how classy I am:

Once with a mouthful of coffee I had to cough, this was not by choice but compulsion. I spewed coffee all over my keyboard and computer screen at work. Try explaining that one as you clean it up.

I constantly trip over myself so it didn't help when one day as I was getting out of my car I turned my ankle luckily saving it before I fell on my face. There were people around and I realized it looked like I just exited my car looking drunk. I walked as soberly as possible (um, how do you do that?) until I was out of sight.

I have problems with too much phlegm (I know TMI) so when I'm clearing my throat out people think I'm sneezing (I've never understood that). I let them think that and I thank them.

When picking up my car from a regular maintenance service I "found" my car.

Dear woman in the drivers seat that I yanked the unlocked door open on,

         I'm sorry and my maniacal laughter as I was walking away was recognizing that I had cracked.

        Sincerely,
         The woman that almost tried to sit in your lap.

Stopped at a red light I saw the turn lane had a green light. Started honking my horn furiously at the car in front of me because we could go. Stopped when I realized that we still had a red light. No I'm not in labor, having a heart attack, or legally blind. Proceeded to not look at anyone around me. Thankfully I was close to home.

This seems like it could become a multi parter...

My face wash is out for the color green.

Two disclaimers first:
1) I wanted another Sonicare so that Isaac and I would each have one. I realized later I didn't write that but it's been my motivating factor. Also I've figured out all the settings on my new one.
2) As to the someone else's car incident yesterday, I was getting my car serviced at Toyota yesterday. It was dark and pouring rain. When they tell you your car is out front, it should be out front. Not out front but all the way down at the end on the left. I also don't need my keys out to open my car, my key just has to be in the vicinity of my car by three feet and I can pull on the handle and it unlocks. So by surprising that lovely young woman I wasn't forgetting to do anything or doing anything odd, that's how opening my car works. She just has an amazingly awesome car that looks exactly like mine.

So anyways. My face wash is out to get green. It's trying to do it slowly so that I will ruin more things instead of catching on, but it's too late, I've figured it out. It also ruins things indiscriminately which makes things awkward for me. I think my face wash laughs at me when it causes these situations. I noticed two weeks ago it ruined my long sleeved green shirt, so that became a night shirt. I apparently also ruined two of Isaac's Grandma's towels (pictured below), which were both, you guessed it, green. When we got home from Christmas I notice it ruined a striped mint green shirt I had but that wasn't so upsetting as that was already relegated to night shirt status. I feel worse about ruining Grandma's towels as they aren't mine. So far my face wash hasn't ruined anything else, it just apparently like the color green as much as I do.

This:

causes this:

I would stop using my face wash but I have the oiliest skin known to mankind and it's the only thing that keeps me from breaking out terribly. As long as it works I am sticking with it but I might have to find a new favorite color...